Life Skills and Advice #1

LIFE SKILLS AND ADVICE

#1

On Stupidity

Description

Stupidity (or idiocy, dumbassery, etc.) is described as either a disease or a syndrome that cause impairment of mental process.

It affects all sentient beings at some point during their existence and is believed to be the cause of almost all armed conflict on planet Earth. Stupidity is known to lower both IG and its social equivalent (social IQ). The affliction comes in many forms. The illness is capable of reaching advanced stages comparable to that of HIV and AIDS. The illness is incapable of being treated once it has reached such stages. Currently debates are being held within international organizations concerning the disease- several nations proposing victims of the advanced stage of the disease be quarantined or culled.

Stupidity is not to be confused with learning disorders, psychological disorders and neurological illnesses. Stupidity is responsible for nearly all of the world's problems such increased death rates worldwide and widespread armed conflict.

Types

Stupidity comes in many forms, some of which are still being discovered by scientists. Common types present in society are:

•                     unjustified emotional sickness of the 'heart' (love sick)

•                     'self'- induced stupidity

•                     'other'- induced stupidity

•                     Natural stupidity

•                     Temporary stupidity (also known as adolescence)

Causes

Stupidity has been documented to have many causes that initiate the illness, in most cases this is solely the fault of the individual- see the related article 'On Self- Induced Stupidity'

•                     Love

•                     Hate

•                     Religion (in extreme cases)

•                     Laziness

•                     Stereotyping

•                     Race

•                     Viewing and Listening to Stupid Media (such as reading an  article that describe Stupidity in detail)

•                     Nature

Symptoms

This details the symptoms of the illness in humans, though is widely believed to apply to all sentient beings. The disease is known for it easily identifiable symptoms.

•                    Causes harm to self and others for no logical reason and reasons unknown, inexplicable or stupid reasons

•                     Naivety

•                     Poor motor control and loss of cognitive functions

•                     Unjustified lust

•                     Dismissive of the intelligent

•                     Being an idiot

•                     Being the 'raw' type of a race

Advanced Stupidity and its symptoms

Advanced Stupidity is a loose term referring to the limit or height of Stupidity. If stupidity continues without treatment, it may reach its advanced stages. The patient is considered 'beyond help' when such a situation occurs. No examples are ever used in media to show advance stupidity due to the social implications and of the disease. This clearly shows that one is completely and utterly hopeless once they have been diagnosed with 'Advanced Stupidity'

Symptoms of 'Advanced Stupidity' include and are not limited to:

•                     incapability to learn not caused by learning disorders, psychological disorders and neurological disorders

•                     incapability to understand fundamental unwritten laws of society

•                     sudden urge to 'spit out' irrelevant (and often wrong) facts, figures, statistics and information

•                     deep knowledge and understanding of statistics

•                     unnatural, constant cross-eyed expression on patients face

•                     incapability to sxphell

•                     constant droning and use of “DUH” and “UH” in speech

•                     blonde hair

•                     extremely good or bad sense of fashion not present in functioning members of society

•                     incapability to diagnose stupidity

•                     designing and creating robots with the potential to become evil overlords

•                     'playing' with Science (specifically Nuclear energy)

Diagnosis

Stupidity is an easily diagnosable by most functioning members of society and is the most identifiable illness in the known universe.

The saddest moment in a doctor's life.

Common methods of diagnosing stupidity:

•                     just looking at the person

•                     comparing patient to a victim of stupidity

•                     use of 'cause of effect' theory – this is used to invoke a stupid reaction from the patient

•                     most of the time you can just tell  if someone is stupid, diagnosis is almost always made redundant by this fact

Treatment

Only one known cure has been found for stupidity- education. One stupidity has reached its advanced stages, it cannot be cured. Stupidity is only curable if and only if symptoms of its advanced stages are not present. The World Health Organization (WHO????) has raised awareness of stupidity due to the seriousness of the rather minor affliction. Despite this and the efforts of the intelligent, stupidity still remains as a common illness that is more present in the 21^st Century than prehistoric ages (the 20^th Century)

Propaganda...with MS Paint.

Treatment for Stupidity:

•                     Education

Prevention

Stupidity is best avoided and prevented rather than cured. If cured- a normal human will experience immense regret from his previous life as a victim of stupidity and may suffer from depression. Cured patients have been reported to commit suicide.

Even more propaganda....god bless whomever created MS Paint.

Common Prevention Methods:

•                     Ignoring stupid media

•                     Applying oneself concerning education

•                     Listening to the intelligent

•                     Reporting the stupid

On Reporting the Stupid

Report all stupid people to your local school- Remember by doing so you are not just doing yourself a favor, but are doing society a favor. Stupid persons are easily identifiable: See 'Symptoms.'

Conclusion

Stupidity has killed many and will continue to do so, awareness must be made to prevent the illness spreading and killing us all. Stupidity is more present that it should be- I beg of humanity to fix this before WWW III (Wet Wipin' [the] World [again]/ World War III)

Note to Readers: This article was written at a time when World War III was not happening and when Robot insurgency was mere fiction. It may not still reflect the author's feeling and thoughts now that he is serving under his evil robot overlord- 'T-1000.'

Get me an Oil change, these flames don't fire up themselves!

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.